THE BOYS: FRANKLIN|
Helmut: Home, sweet home. Oh, Heinz, you here? I wasn't expecting you until the evening.
Heinz: Yeah, I returned half an hour ago. The seminar was over early. And you? Spending spree?
Helmut: Take what you can, then you'll have plenty in times of hardship.
Heinz: Well, four crammed shopping bags will surely delay the times of hardship.
Helmut: I bought something for you, too. Look: an aerosol cheese can. A real burner.
Heinz: Thanks. By the way, your ability to fill the flat with litter in no time is quite amazing. I wonder how you manage to do that.
Helmut: Practice. And it needs a tiny bit of talent, too.
Heinz: At least you are in good spirits. So, and what paid for your extensive shopping activities?
Helmut: Ah! Now were are getting closer to the point, aren't we?
Heinz: And could you please remove those old army boots from the table!
Helmut: OK, OK, one thing at a time.
Heinz: In this case please prioritise the boots.
Helmut: These are not just any old boots. They were taken from the enemy.
Heinz: Oh, I see. Well, that changes everything.
Helmut: Yeah, you make fun of it. But I tell you what: these are real Taliban clodhoppers from Kandahar.
Heinz: Wouldn't surprise me much. And they match the rifle on the balcony, don't they?
Helmut: Oh that. Why don't you taste this cheese foam, it's great!
Heinz: Helmut, there is a rifle on the balcony. Is that yours?
Helmut: No, it is Franklin's. I am sorry, that was a bit on the blooping side, I admit.
Heinz: And who is Franklin?
Helmut: A friend. He is with the troops.
Heinz: With which troops?
Helmut: THE troops, man. The Americans!
Heinz: Would that be part of your current job search?
Helmut: Precisely! I met him before yesterday at the English Round Table. Fascinating man!
Heinz: What is this unsettling feeling I can sense in my stomach?
Helmut: Oh, you and your prejudice against militarism. It is so ridiculous.
Heinz: The last time you worked with „the troops“ you made a weapons arsenal out of our flat.
Helmut: But this was only temporary!
Heinz: These canisters in the cellar …
Helmut: Now let bygones be bygones! Franklin is really cool.
Heinz: What kind of name is that, anyway?
Helmut: I think it's his first name. Maybe a compound name, I don't know.
Heinz: And what are you supposed to do for him?
Helmut: The job is basically about data gathering. Metadata and stuff.
Heinz: Metadata, what kind of rubbish is this now?
Helmut: Well, you see, these days the USA is experiencing a slight decrease of sympathy in the world.
Heinz: Really? I can't say I've ever noticed.
Helmut: This is why a charm offensive is in order.
Heinz: Yeah, or why not a charm attack? With smiley drones.
Helmut: We address exactly this kind of cynicism. We seek to restore the credibility of the USA.
Heinz: Ah, so you want to bring Obama to The Hague.
Helmut: Nonsense, are you mad? Heinz, please don't say anything against Obama as long as Franklin is here.
Heinz: He is here?
Helmut: In the guest room, sleeping off his hangover.
Heinz: Subsequent to a nocturnal shoot-out on the balcony, I take it?
Helmut: That's right, how did you …?
Heinz: Just an inspired guess. And what did you shoot?
Helmut: Clay pigeons.
Heinz: I see.
Helmut: Well, we didn't have real clay pigeons, so we had to resort to a substitute.
Heinz: Not the plates, I hope?
Helmut: Course not. The smoke detectors.
Heinz: The smoke …?
Helmut: They were such a nuisance, anyway. They blink all night, freaking junk.
Heinz: And so you have decided to entertain the whole Elsa neighbourhood with a little shoot-out.
Helmut: It was such fun, I tell you. Oh, c'mon, we've been living here for weeks now and there haven't been any complaints so far, at all.
Heinz: You do have a way of impressing me time and time again, Helmut.
Helmut: Thank you, but we missed, anyway. Too dark.
Heinz: And the Taliban smelly boots?
Helmut: Are a present for me. Unbelievable, isn't it? Self-shot and brought through customs!
Heinz: Unbelievable, indeed.
Helmut: I wish Merkel would take a leaf out of that.
Heinz: I wouldn't even mind if you sent her the footwear in its entirety.
Helmut: Finally I have a new job now! And they pay buckets of cash, the Yanks.
Heinz: So I heard.
Helmut: And Franklin is really clever. He knows things about Star Trek, for example.
Heinz: What better qualification could anyone ask for!
Helmut: Why don't you listen before you judge? Now, you know how they have holo decks there, warp energy and beaming and all that.
Helmut: Yeah well, but they have no trolleys!
Helmut: Yes, when they travel they carry heavy suitcases with no wheels, despite all their technology!!
Heinz: Now I understand. Franklin is a genius. Anything else he revealed?
Helmut: Yes, in the "Gladiator" movie about the Romans you can see tractor trails on a meadow.
Heinz: A wise man!
Helmut: Hey, are you making fun of Franklin only because he is a black guy?
Heinz: I didn't even know he is.
Helmut: Of course, excuses, like always. This is why we got to do something about it.
Heinz: You of all people! How often have you used names for black people.
Helmut: But that was only as a joke.
Heinz: And remember how you use to call the French …
Helmut: Alright, enough of that! Can't we just be happy to have a hero like Franklin with us?
Heinz: Yeah, great. Why don't you invite him to live with us then.
Helmut: Oh Heinz, this is so nice of you!
Heinz: I beg your pardon?
Helmut: Franklin needs a place to stay for a couple of days, and I told him you surely wouldn't mind.
Heinz: This cannot be serious.
Helmut: You are a true friend, Heinz!