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FAKED BRODER INTERVIEW (16)
Jan. 12, 2013 - Based on a (German) article from Jan. 11, 2013: www.welt.de/112708625


Faked Anis: Hello faked Broder.
Faked Broder: Faked Anis, it's been a while ...
Faked Anis: Almost seven years. We wrote this satire together.
Faked Broder: Oh, it was a satire, was it really?
Faked Anis: "Meet the Press (4): Henryk M. Broder". Meets the criteria, I would say.
Faked Broder: So, and what are you doing these days?
Faked Anis: Music. And you?
Faked Broder: I go around and apologize to people.
Faked Anis: What nonsense.
Faked Broder: I mean it. That was not helpful. I apologize.
Faked Anis: WHAT is wrong with you?
Faked Broder: I should not have said that about the reichssicherheitshauptamt.
Faked Anis: I thought this is your job.
Faked Broder: Even I cross red lines in the heat of the battle at times.
Faked Anis: Isn't that your trademark?
Faked Broder: I spoke about the final solution of the Jewish question - this time in Palestine.
Faked Anis: So, basically, that the Palestinians are like the Nazis.
Faked Broder: Some colleagues and readers got worked up about this sentence.
Faked Anis: Did they?
Faked Broder: Unfortunately, yes. It is about Jakob Augstein.
Faked Anis: The newspaper guy.
Faked Broder: Yes, I called him a "little Schleicher from next-door".
Faked Anis: Like this Nazi with the "Stürmer" paper?
Faked Broder: Yeah, Nazi, exactly. That was completely off the mark.
Faked Anis: But this is what you always do.
Faked Broder: Moreover, I brought him on the anti-Semitism hitlist of the Simon Wiesenthal Center.
Faked Anis: Don't you have to work?
Faked Broder: This IS my work.
Faked Anis: Then why do you apologize? Is it the backers?
Faked Broder: Nonsense. I am a freelance journalist and spend half of my life in cafés.
Faked Anis: How boring!
Faked Broder: Sometimes I live in Berlin, sometimes in New York or Jerusalem.
Faked Anis: And who pays for all that?
Faked Broder: My readers. The WELT newspaper, diverse media ...
Faked Anis: Hang on. The WELT is not a newspaper.
Faked Broder: What is it then?
Faked Anis: A symptom. So you run around and insult people ...
Faked Broder: ... and I get it paid!
Faked Anis: I say, that's very clever.
Faked Broder: Oh yes, that really is clever. I'm a genius.
Faked Anis: Congratulations!
Faked Broder: There are many who criticize Israel and the USA.
Faked Anis: There you have a point.
Faked Broder: I fight them with my sharp quill.
Faked Anis: Sounds respectable and, how shall I say: sophisticated.
Faked Broder: Yeah, sophisticated, I know the word.
Faked Anis: And subtle.
Faked Broder: Yes. But education does not prevent people from folly.
Faked Anis: No.
Faked Broder: Therefore Grass is the prototype of the educated anti-Semite.
Faked Anis: What?
Faked Broder: Grass built the Iranian atomic bomb that will destroy Israel.
Faked Anis: And what kinds of beverage do they serve in these cafés?
Faked Broder: The aggressive Islamistic terrorists must be battled!
Faked Anis: Mr. Bean is more entertaining than that ...
Faked Broder: The Germans have long surrendered to Islamic terror.
Faked Anis: Even Krusty the Clown, when I think about it.
Faked Broder: Augstein delivers the accompanying music for Ahmadinejad's annihilation fantasies.
Faked Anis: I thought you just apologized to him.
Faked Broder: Only for those two issues. Now I am producing new issues.
Faked Anis: Good way not to lose the audience's attention.
Faked Broder: A chicken house is not a concentration camp, Muslims are not the Jews of today.
Faked Anis: What are you talking about now?
Faked Broder: I have always criticized such dramatizations in others.
Faked Anis: Oh, it is getting solemn. I don't even have a tie on me.
Faked Broder: And now I got trapped in this very trap myself.
Faked Anis: Said the drama queen in between two bouts.
Faked Broder: For that I apologize.
Faked Anis: Yawn ...
Faked Broder: And only for that.
Faked Anis: You should rather apologize for your books.
Faked Broder: No way.
Faked Anis: Do you know why I haven't visited you for so long?
Faked Broder: Because you were tied up with carnival in Mainz?
Faked Anis: I am hoping to find something interesting about you.
Faked Broder: And now you found something?
Faked Anis: Well, you run around and apologize. At least this is new.
Faked Broder: I only apologized for THAT. That doesn't mean anything.
Faked Anis: I was afraid so.
Faked Broder: As long as there are people who do not believe in neoconservatism ...
Faked Anis: ... and Zionism ...
Faked Broder: Yes thanks, and Zionism ...
Faked Anis: ... and anti-Semitism ...
Faked Broder: May I please finish my sentence?
Faked Anis: You say "please"? First you apologize, now you're begging.
Faked Broder: Once again: As long as there are people who do not believe in ...
Faked Anis: Islamo-Fascism ...
Faked Broder: Now don't confuse me!
Faked Anis: The big anti-Semitism business!
Faked Broder: You have no idea how hostile the enemy really is!
Faked Anis: Of course.
Faked Broder: You are a collaborator!
Faked Anis: Sure.
Faked Broder: You are on the verge of being a ...
Faked Anis: Don't say it. You said enough already.
Faked Broder: But people applaud when I say such things.
Faked Anis: What people?
Faked Broder: Many people.
Faked Anis: What they say about your rhetorical skills ...
Faked Broder: Yes?
Faked Anis: I've never quite understood. What do people see in your dribble?
Faked Broder: It is as intelligent as it is imaginative, with permanent allusions to the Nazis, enemy talk, dirty talk and insults. I like to play with the fears of people, you know.
Faked Anis: I am probably only jealous.
Faked Broder: Yes, probably.
Faked Anis: But you will at one point also write something that pleases me, won't you?
Faked Broder: You mean something that isn't boring?
Faked Anis: That would be great!
Faked Broder: You are lucky, I am not vengeful.
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